Time, Passing, Moving Forward, Always—Sunday, December 13, 2015

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Sky-2All of my life, even as a small child, I have felt there is something I am meant to do. Something.  Not big, not amazingly over-the-top, but something.

To be honest, everything I tried didn’t seem to be whatever the ‘it‘ is.  Although, I have enjoyed many, many things.

Here I am, almost 67 years old in one month, and I STILL don’t know what “it” is.

BigBut I must admit that ‘it’ nags at me, causes a sorta ‘need to know.’

Terry and his family are all super talented, it seems there isn’t anything they can’t do or create or achieve.  My brother and my family, also seem the same way, except for me…for some reason I can’t figure out what draws at my heart–what I am supposed to be doing —- while alive on the face of this earth.

Something that is niggling at the back of my mind saying: ‘time is starting to run out’.  It will not belong to each of us forever.  So I have decided if I haven’t figured out this—whatever it is—I’m probably not going too this late in the game.

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Instead I’ll just enjoy each day that is given to me.  My greatest and strongest wish I have is to experience joy in every fiber of my being, my mind, and my soul for whatever time I have left to me.  And to do that…all I have to do is enjoy each and every moment of every day I have left on earth.

A great big sundog appeared in morning sky today.  A major cold front is coming toward us.  The weather people say it will be here Wednesday…yep, right on time. Sundog portends a cool down in three days.

Sometimes I look at the sky and wonder…most people only see the emptiness of the sky, for the those things that live upon the earth clang and jar with sound and the trials and troubles of everyday living, plus people thrum with their own energy; their own lives.

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But if you will stop and listen you can sense the procession of time on the earth and in the sky–something is going on in that great silence beyond our own knowing.

With much love, your friend,

Linda

 

49 thoughts on “Time, Passing, Moving Forward, Always—Sunday, December 13, 2015”

  2. Your love of life and how you put it in writing and in pictures… maybe it’s that one super picture and the story it inspires. Words and sights that touch the heart… that’s what you do (at least for me).

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    • Oh, Thank you, Cully! I do love finding that one photo (or three) which speaks loudly to me. Then I enjoy trying to find the words that convey my feeling to each and everyone of you on my blog. A small thing, but one of infinite pleasure.

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  3. Linda, have you considered that maybe “it” is a journey, not a destination? And you’re helping lots of people enjoy that journey along with you — including people who really appreciate the mental and the photographic images you give to us almost every day. Especially those of us who miss the view of Grand Mesa, Uncompahgre Plateau, and those open cornfields with mountains in the background. I think that’s a pretty significant “it” — and you do it very well.

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    • Oh, thank you, Gary. I did get to thinking after I wrote this (maybe actually putting the feeling in words helped) that maybe it isn’t a skill, or a craft, or a creation of some sort, but simply a way of being.

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  4. I know exactly how you feel, Linda. I always thought when I retired I’d get back to my art and maybe create a great piece that would last (if only in the family) for a long time. My cat Wesley has chewed the hair off all my brushes, but I wasn’t using them anyway. The many tubes of paint I collected over the years have dried up.

    I do have a number of small goals I’ve set for myself. I’ve raised a Texas Mountain Laurel from a seed. It’s 5 feet tall and looks like it might bloom this year. I wanted 5 starred wins in the American Bantam Association with my Dominique bantams. I now have 6. They mean nothing, of course. But I’ve had a great time earning them, from the chicken chores I do every day, to traveling thousands of miles and meeting new people at shows.

    If I don’t keep busy I find it harder and harder to drag myself away from the house. My house is not a prison I feel a need to escape, it’s the most comfortable place on earth to me. Even though it’s an ancient farm house with few conveniences. I sleep soundly in it and every morning I’m happy to kick the cats off the bed and look forward to another day.

    I can tell by your photos that you truly care about the place where you live, too.

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    • Like you I so understand the not-need to leave the farm. Terry is talking of traveling. I really don’t know if I want to send months somewhere else…the farm is really my comfort zone.

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  5. some think they figured it all out and maybe some have. I have not and you just said it. anymore it’s kinda for the moment and happy being able “to do” and appreciate. little stress is a biggy. this morning thought the camera was left behind somewhere. it was. luckily very close behind. stress way up for a bit. like you my friend i feel something is missing but what there is works quite nicely for the most part. i understand what you feel.

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  7. Not sure you realize how many lives and hearts you touch every single day with your blog and outlook on life. That seems pretty big to me! Sure brightens my day. And, lest I forget to say it, thank you for that!

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  9. Even if you have not found your own soul’s delight, you have brought delight to so many others with your appreciation of life, nature and the joys and hardships of the farming life. That is no small feat, and a significant talent. Your photography is superb and your way with words delightful; I think you need not feel that Terry is the only talented one!

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  10. I feel deeply touched and sort of speechless. I feel your desire to know. I want to know what my “it” is too. I understand. But, let me tell you…you, more than anyone I “know”, remind by example of what it means to enjoy one’s life. And if you are doing that for me, you are doing it for many. And that is a very beautiful “it.” You make a difference to all of us in this way.

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  11. We are not always given to know our “it”. For some their whole life is meant to inspire others, lead others, make a big splash in the world, for others their summation may be to have smiled at someone while passing on the street or said a kind word to someone who needed to hear one and gone on to live their lives quietly with lovingkindness. You are an inspiration, an observant person, and sharing your life and thoughts with all of us. Thank you.

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  13. I like what Gary said….it’s a journey, not a destination. I’ve struggle with what my “purpose” is my whole life too and have come to the conclusion that I might not even recognize it if it slapped me upside the head. I know we all have gifts and sometimes don’t realize what they might be but others do. You are a talented writer and a true friend to many…me included!

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  14. Linda, I agree with every single comment! I’ve read you post three times. This could be my post. ( just not as well written). I have felt this way my whole life. Three things: I think for some IT changes throughout their life. I think for me, I will never know for sure what IT is. This is how God keeps me searching, maybe in hopes of growing closer to him. Grandma Moses didn’t start painting before her 80s. I’m going out kicking! Keep pushing that comfort zone, even if it’s just a little. 😊

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  15. You have so much talent as a writer and photographer not to mention as a time management genius (how do you get so much accomplished?) You are a wonderful wife, mother, grandmother. pet owner. You help feed the country;.You probably won’t discover a cure for cancer, but I love your blog.

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  18. I love this post Linda, and listening to your questing soul. Maybe the thing you are meant to be doing is exactly what you are doing right now. You are opening to the wonder of the world you live in. You are staying in touch with the miracle of life. Your are posting inspiring words, thoughts and photos. Isn’t this ‘it’?
    I love your last sentence, and the photo that goes with it. It gives a lift to my heart. Thank you.

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  19. You invite us into your life every day. You share the joys and the occasional angst of making a living off the land, but mostly the joy. You bless others with your words, photos, flowers, etc. You are a gift that keeps on giving. Thank you. It is in Him that you live, move, and have your being.
    That is one huge sundog!

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  20. WordPress ate my comment😕. I like what Gary said…maybe it’s a journey and the destination isn’t what it’s all about. I’ve struggled with what my purpose is all my life too and I’ve come to the conclusion that I might not even recognize it if it slapped me alongside the head. You touch people everyday on this blog and you’re a friend to many…..that’s a purpose!

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  21. Probably something most of us think about. I think many of us have found ‘it’ without realizing it. Your writing implies to me that you HAVE found it. Wishing all the best and most of all Peace for you.

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  22. The sky is awe-inspiring. I stand and look and listen to the wind and think…”It’s been doing this for thousands of years. While all the crazy little human stuff has been going on underneath it, it has been doing what it has been doing for ages. It makes one feel very small.

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  23. You are a Joy to many…me included! Perhaps that is why we blog to find the “it” that we are seeking/supposed to be. I think I am getting near the end of my journey too and find myself thinking what do I want to finish today just incase it is my last day? Concentrate on the things you can do instead of the things you cannot. Today I am going to work on the Shiny Brite tree and look at the new snow out the window:)

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    • I have decided that the moment is terribly important anymore. I do feel the journey is ending, but how…myself, Terry, the world as we know it…I can’t say. So the moment must be enjoyed so the hour can be fulfilled. Enjoy your tree…I’m anxious to see it.

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