I know this is rather morbid, but I can’t help it.
For some reason that is where I am today.
Pondering life and being alive.
I woke from bad dreams, after three nights of restless sleep, or sleep so sound my arms and knees were asleep and I woke suddenly thinking something was very wrong with me. VERY WRONG! Wake UP! Now!
Jerking awake I realized those foreign things call arms and legs were almost useless, which caused me to panic.
Then, I when I am fully awake and realize it was just the fact I had slept too hard and too long in one spot; nothing to be alarmed over. I had to sigh with relief.
Still…I find that today I am pondering being alive–maybe I have been for a spell. But today it is in full force.
Then I found this poem, by Mary Oliver, and realized others go through this phase also…at least once in their life.
“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it is over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
― Mary Oliver
I think leaving this world would/will be hard. There is so much beauty here, so much excitement in everyday living, so much joy in absorbing every moment of every second, that (if I had to explain Heaven) I sometimes wonder if Heaven really is here on earth.
From my heart to your world,