Weariness — Wednesday, August 1, 2018

I’m tired.  I don’t know why.  I can’t seem to ‘get myself together’

There is always something I need to do or get done or should have been done yesterday

Although, I know I am busy all the time.

I feel like I am standing in one spot spinning my wheels

Everywhere I look there is something I should be doing, although…the should is as far as I seem to get

Part of it is my age…I just don’t get as much done as I used to even as short a time ago as a couple of years.

Terry’s and my day starts early 4:30 or 5:00 at the latest

And it ends at dark.  Sometimes, though, we do just sit outside enjoying the evening light (as you well know.)

And we have been fortunate to have visitors which breaks up the monotony of work

Still, I often wonder where time has gone.

There is still some painting I need to do on the house, the windows need to be washed, dusting and other mundane things to accomplish

Just the thought of all that work makes me…

Well, tired.

Then coming in from the last set of water, passing one of the ditches…Terry and I came across

A little message written in mud: “Hi Grandpa” it says.

Even though still weary…tired to the bone, even…the joy of being this age is immense.

For without the ages Terry and I are; there wouldn’t be those precious grandchildren…who leave little messages in the mud.

From my world to your heart,

Linda

 

 

 

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31 thoughts on “Weariness — Wednesday, August 1, 2018

  1. The way I see it, ‘should’ is a word that needs to be banned. Who says you ‘should’ paint, dust, wash windows? Will a little dust hurt? Will the world tip on its axis if you don’t paint, or wash windows or weed? My feeling is that none of us should go into the dark without having spent a little time sitting and taking in the beauty of the world.
    What is this life if, full of care,
    We have no time to stand and stare.
    No time to stand beneath the boughs
    And stare as long as sheep or cows.
    No time to see, when woods we pass,
    Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
    No time to see, in broad daylight,
    Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
    No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
    And watch her feet, how they can dance.
    No time to wait till her mouth can
    Enrich that smile her eyes began.
    A poor life this if, full of care,
    We have no time to stand and stare.
    William Henry Davies

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  2. Believe me, you’re not alone in feeling weary much of the time. I would like to think that I’m still young, but my body tells me otherwise. But you do have the glorious skies that you share with us, as well as those previous grandchildren with their unexpected messages. Blessings indeed!

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  3. I love the muddy love note-the best kind. How about the smoke you’re being exposed too adding to your ‘aging’ fatigue? Glad for you the grandchildren visit fairly often. Regards, Sandy

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  4. Oh, I hear you! Weary to the bone some days. I can only imagine what it will be like some day, to hopefully have grand children who will leave us messages! 🙂 Btw…I love your hollyhocks!

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  5. I know the feeling all to well, Linda. I’m so sorry. I often write in my journal that I’m in a chronic state of overwhelm. I started underlining every time I wrote the word SHOULD. It’s quite enlightening. Now that I know my days are fewer, the “should’s” are fewer and I use my morning pages to highlight how I want to spend this precious day. Every morning I’m grateful that I woke and ask what can I do that’s delightful. The fatigue is a wake up call. Listen carefully to what it’s saying. It will come out in your writing. I’m tire of…. until the answer presents. Sending you huge squishy hugs. You are so fortunate to have a loving family around you but something else is trying to come into your awareness.

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  6. Maybe it’s time to slow down and enjoy things more. Listen to your body. Any chance to cut back on the farming a little? Every woman knows how to cut back on house work–just don’t wear your glasses. No one will ever put on your tombstone that you were a good worker, and the house/yard/farm were always in great shape. You and Terry need to do some things while you are still able. Slide into retirement slowly, a little at a time. I think you are being told. Best of luck

    Katie

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  7. Aww Bless the little people who leave precious messages in the mud for you to find! You two work so very hard, getting up so early and working hard all thru the day. Thank God you have the chance to sit and rock once in awhile. Before you know it, it will be winter once again and you’ll have more time but you’ll be wishing for the sun and the heat! Take each day as it comes Linda….things will all work out in the end.

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  8. Only thing i don’t understand is how you don’t feel this way more often!! Your beautiful skies must call you to relax and enjoy!! And the message in the mud does perfectly express the joys of growing old(er)~! The poem your first commenter quoted is perfect.

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