The Adventures of Boomer on Friday— Haley

Haley is the farm renter’s dog.  She is nice!  I mean really nice.  But she hardly ever gets to get out and play with me.

Still, we have a great time talking to each other anyway.

Although, Haley told me she gets to get out and sniff out the news of the farm.

Which reminded me.

“Did you know we have lots of coyotes of the farm, Haley?”  I asked.

“NO!” Haley answered in a quivery voice.  “I’m scared of coyotes!”

“You should be” I replied. “We have some of the meanest, baddest, coyotes in the whole wide world living here on the farm.”

“I mean the meanest, baddest, biggest, ugliest coyotes. They snarl and growl and howl, but the worst part of the coyotes…if they want to eat you for dinner, they are so silent, silenter, silentest slinkest animals ever!”

I watched Haley try to hide behind her human in the side-by-side, her whole body trembling and shaking, causing the side-by-side to shake and roll.

“What’s up, Haley?” Her human turned around and petted Haley. “Boomer is just a little old beagle he can’t hurt you in any way or form.”  Her human kept patting Haley on the head.

“COYOTES!” Haley woofed.  “Boomer says there are COYOTES on the farm.”

Haley’s human turned back to Dad and they kept on talking about this and that and everything.

Gradually Haley got hold of herself, peaked over the edge of the side-by-side and asked, “You better tell me about these coyotes, Boomer. I have a feeling my human is going to learn the hard way…if I can head them off before he learns, then I’ve done a very good thing.”

“Okay,” I replied, “The meanest, baddest, biggest, ugliest coyote is THORINA!  Thorina is the mate to Thor they are legendary in these parts for killing more chickens, turkeys, cats and stray dogs than any other lean-limbed, long-haired, scruffy-tailed, yellow eyed, slobbering, hungry-looking coyote around.

In fact, Thorina’s daughter, Trinator, spend the whole winter peeing and pooping on the lawn at our house, looking for food.

Mindy and I made sure we stayed inside.”

“Oh! My Goodness!” Haley looked at me with huge Black Lab eyes…” On your LAWN?”

“Yes, but Mom and Dad took measures and finally ran her off.  Which was a very good thing.”

Haley gulped.

“Anyway, Thorina’s mate is Thor, there is a huge scar from one eye clear to the edge of his long hairy nose.  Whatever he came up against had to have given him a good fight to leave a scar like that!  One ear is all jagged and scraggly and his nose and mouth and lips look like he had been hooked by Boss Cow’s, (meanest, baddest cow on the place) horns.”

Haley sat down with a thump in the back of the side-by-side.  Dad and the farmer just kept on talking.

So, I kept on talking also. “Usually there are at least three or more coyotes hanging around together. They hunt in packs, so be careful.  A dog like you and I would have zero chance against anyone of them.

“Oh!” Shudder, shiver, “How can you tell they are about to pounce on you?”  Haley questioned me.

“They are just like dogs when they are going to attack something, they crouch down real low, fur bristling way up!  Their necks and bodies and even the tips of their tails look fifty times bigger than normal, and they have snarls on their faces; you can see two rows of long white fangs on each face.”

“Dogs attack dogs?” Haley wailed. “I never knew a dog could attack another dog?  Why would a dog attack another dog?  Dogs are for playing with not hurting.”  Haley tried to puzzle out the cruelty of dogs against other dogs.

“It happens, Haley.  It happens.” I said very matter-of-factly.

“Oh!  I want to throw up my breakfast!  This is terrible.”

“I understand, Haley…I’ve been there, right there where I thought the coyotes were going to get me.  Fear is a mighty thing….and I did throw up my food, although it was super, not breakfast.”  I jumped up and put both paws on the tire of the side-by-side.  If I could have put a paw on Haley’s shoulder I would have.

“Sometimes we hear their sad mournful howl wailing in the wind.” I looked Haley right in her big huge brown Black Labrador eyes.

“It is sorta pretty, in a scary, frightening, terrifying kind of way, but if you listen to the words they are really singing for their supper: ‘We need supper…we are hungry…our tummies are empty…food’ the words will repeat a long time.  If you hear them howling in the night, Haley.  Do Not go outside!  And do NOT let your human go outside.”

“Okay, Boomer, okay!”  Just then farmer started the side-by-side and drove off.  I had to quickly jump down quickly and let them drive off.

“Bye, Haley! Bye, remember what I said!”  I bayed to her as they drove off.

I hope she remembers.

Boomer